Sobering & Thought-Provoking

Visited two old-aged homes as part of team-building day. I've never been to one, and indeed hte experience was an eye-opener and gave me much food for thought.

The first home sits on neatly manicured lawns and had close to 200 residents. Thought it is near an expressway, I was very surprised that you could hardly hear the traffic buzz. It was tranquil.

Many of them are not ambulant and I guess those years caring for Dad helped me a lot in knowing what to say and how to make them more comfortable. Some of my friends were somewhat clueless on what to do. They simply hung back, unsure and hesitant.

While some reasons are valid (language barrier for example), others I think could be overcome slowly through exposure. It is the limited interaction that we have with very aged and frail old folks that caused many of us to wonder what we could do.

Apart from presenting some items (half-baked singing) and games for them, the rest of the time was spent serving them food. I wondered if we did them any good, by such an infrequent visit. It would be, I think, far better for us to adopt a home for a year and volunteer there regularly.

Off to another home. This time, a language barrier existed for me. I could only hold an old woman's hand, while she gripped it tightly and recounted (as interpreted by a friend), how her daughter had failed to come and see her increasingly - till the time came when she thought that she had been abandoned to live a lonely twilight for good.

For an old lady of 80, her grip was surprisingly (and excruiciatingly) firm. Speechless, I just let her hold my hand.

It was heart-breaking to say the least, to hear such stories. Even the Home manager acknowledged that many the residents were abandonment cases.

Many of us left with a disturbed frame of mind. Will we, ourselves, face a day where we grow old, frail, mind wandering off, unable to walk, bedridden or unable to even do the simplest things that we take for granted?

Is there more we could do for them?

Arty Farty

There seems to be a difference between the two.

People who do not claim to be Arty, but by dint of popular demand, are bestowed this illustrious title, are those who are gracious, despite their prodigious knowledge on the subject matter at hand.

Not only do their peers label them as arty, these fellows are gracious and not show-offy. They do not brag, talk a lot nor go out of their way to impress. Just good, clear-headed sensible-mindedness when talking about their pet topic(s) (not just necessarily limited to art and culture), without alienating others or making others feel small.

People who rush forward, without any apparent external goading to do so, to seize the crown of the realm of Appreciators of All Things Artistic, and put it upon their heads, are generally talkative and braggy. They also claim to be Arty, although whether their peers think likewise, is of course, quite another question altogether.

Not only are their peers divided about their "artistic-ness", these fellows are generally not gracious and love to show off. Most things that come out of their mouths are either foul, distasteful or tiresome. Unfortunately, the said topics are mentioned in the hope of making them sound knowledgeable. Just plain old-fashioned arrogance when talking about their pet topic(s) (not just necessarily limited to art and culture), that tend to alienate others or make others feel tinier than a squirming worm.

They would be better off labelled as Farties. Nothing much except they are full of hot air, and foul to boot.

Hot Air Rises, Cold Air Sinks

Episode 1:

At the choral concert organised by G, the resident boor, whom some thought was a true cultural philistine, decided to attend as well. RB is sad to say, talkative.

Not that talkativeness is a sin. Talking and bragging about oneself is.

The girls managed to "siam" sitting next to him. Unfortunately come dessert time, RB, seeing a fellow gentleman ordering a Tequila Sunrise, bragged loudly that he can drink very well and if challenged to a drinking binge, he almost always ended up as the last man still standing and drinking away. Long after the rest of the folks have dropped down drunk.

He proceeded to list his various exploits and drinking prowess, raising the ire of E, K and G. G as usual was too polite to tell him off. What a way to impress the ladies! Machismo, suaveness and manly drinker all rolled into one! With such prodigious talents, he managed to make the rest of the men present sound like... limp-wristed wimps!

*puke* *barf barf*

Despite all the boasting, RB ordered one of the most potent drinks available on the menu! It was... *drumroll please*.... a pot of piping hot Earl Grey tea!

Cheah!

**************
Episode 2

RB was there again at the Chopard concert the following week. With some creative pre-planning (what I amusingly termed as manipulation), G managed to manipulate our ticketed seats away from RB, putting poor Eloquent Gentleman next to RB. RB was distinctly subdued, and was in fact rather gracious. A rare departure from his usual hot air.

Dinner was a mad scramble for seats far away from RB, who has been getting consistently high ratings as a pest and braggart. Some folks were less subtle in their seat swop come dinner time, and poor Joanna was unceremoniously placed next to RB.

G was unable to decide on her choice of beverage. Therein began a recitation of the full drinks menu, with me suggesting wickedly that she should drink Earl Grey. Afterall, how do you prove your drinking prowess unless you challenge RB, the macho drinker, to a stiff drink of Earl Grey?!

It has been noted that RB lurrve SSO concerts, and as such, yours truly will try to go for such concerts without RB as part of the party.

Yet Another Wedding To Attend

Tomorow shall be another day of helping out at another wedding. I'm fast becoming an expert at this. :)

The last quarter of the year is filled with marriages, concerts and Christmas celebration - indeed, 'tis the season to be merry!

2005 has been my year of wonder. And I have much to ponder over, and much to be thankful for.