A Quote

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

- Hugo Weaving, as V, in V for Vendetta

Speck in his eye, plank in mine

Working with J has proven to be a challenging experience.

Granted, this is on a social basis, and that we have been friendly. I thought that PB's frustration with him, saying that "between the two of them was a yawning generation gap that could not be breached", was nothing but a gross exaggeration.

Little did I know that I would be enduring the same problem with him.

Well, to begin with, I had a fairly good impression of him. He appeared devout; while long-winded, he was steady.

However, past incidences has caused me to hurriedly review my estimate of the man. Unfortunately, each revision brought new sinking lows in my esteem for him.

These past incidences are too much for me to recount. Perception and reality are just two polar opposites in the case of J.

What he appears to be, to the casual observer, is not what he is, to the thoughtful observer.

I think the point he made about seeking out a haunted house as a challenge for bravado, as part of the retreat programme, nearly made me flip. It was totally uncalled for and unedifying.

What little regard I had for him, was, as I put it, somewhat like the STI breaking records - nose-diving to an all-time low.

But then, I was guilty of being judgemental too soon.

During an earlier recce trip, I was shooting photos of temples and hoping to use them as part of the quiz. However, JH, who processed the shots before emailing to me, wondered if they are appropriate for our use in this context.

Strangely, I didn't manage to open the emails till yesterday, following the weekend when I flipped over J's uncalled for suggestion.

I wrote back to JH, thanking him for the photos and agreeing with him that the photos should not be used. I didn't think that they were inappropriate then, as during my own trips, I'm very used to shooting religious icons and complexes.

This was indeed a wake up call from God, who has displayed a wonderful sense of humour, timing and purpose in reminding me about being judgemental, even as I made the same mistake that I so disliked in another.

Esther and Kat were advising me that to work this thing around, I've got to readjust my perception and expectations. Kat was kindly in telling me that she herself felt frustrated dealing with J (and it was only for 2 hours), while I had been biting my tongue for the past 6 months before keeling over in frustration.

And the moral of the story was plain to see.

God grant me patience and forebearance, even as I have so little of it and need it.

A 2nd lesson that I've learnt was that silence, as what Kingsley always said, can achieve a lot of things.

There's no need for me to lose my temper on anyone. And sometimes the best way of handling something, was to allow others to step in to my defence.

Hmm.

Taking Stock, Giving Thanks

It's been a long, long time since I heard anything from him. I still remembered what he said, since it came at a time of great emotional distress. His words were like a clap of thunder, resounding and resolute, breaking the dull, windless silence that surrounded me then.

That was about two years ago.

Indeed, that must have been the beginning of everything. I could only say that I'm glad I listened. Other words by friends helped cemented what I believed to be the way to move forward and to turn it into reality.

Even when I thought I had not the strength to do it.

The genesis of what I truly felt about certain issues, certainly, began in that little seed, planted so unsuspectingly in my heart.

How are you my dear brother? I wish you well in your dreams, which you have taken so much pains, and made sacrifices to cast aside all other hindrances, to fulfill. Listening to you, brought back many bittersweet memories of how hard the road was once, for me. And how many helping, unseen hands have supported me, just when I thought I could not go on anymore. Just when I thought that I was forsaken, never to be see respite. And what you said, is true.

I do not dare claim to have victory firmly in my grasp, but yes, indeed, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Sora said I will be joyful over it. And yes, it has given me more joy than pain.

May I hear from you soon, brother.

***********

A dear friend of mine informed me last week that she planned to bow out of the rat race for a while and to pursue an alternative which she had cherished in her heart for a long, long time.

I'm so glad to be able to be with her, even for that brief a moment, as she had been with me.

Thank you, so much. You've done so much for me that I will not forget this kindness rendered.

Flipping Through My Collection

Was just talking to WK the other day about jazz music and suddenly recalled that I had a Jacintha album somewhere.

Managed to find it after a search. Nice, sultry voice. Almost quite forgotten how the tracks sound like.

One of the reasons why I bought the album years ago was because of the song Pennies From Heaven by Bing Crosby. A search on its lyrics yielded an interesting nugget of information on the song:


PENNIES FROM HEAVEN(Burke, Johnston)
Bing introduced "Pennies from Heaven" in his movie of the same name. The movie was okay, the song won an Oscar. Bing recorded "Pennies from Heaven" August 17, 1936 with the Jimmy Dorsey Orchestra. By the end of the year the recording had rocketed to the top of the charts, where it stayed for an incredible 10 weeks. It was Bing's only No. 1 recording of 1936, but for Bing it was megabucks from Heaven!


A long time ago
A million years BC
The best things in life
Were absolutely free.
But no one appreciated
A sky that was always blue.
And no one congratulated
A moon that was always new.
So it was planned that they would vanish now and them
And you must pay before you get them back again.
That's what storms were made for
And you shouldn't be afraid for

Every time it rains it rains
Pennies from heaven.
Don't you know each cloud contains
Pennies from heaven.
You'll find your fortune falling
All over town.
Be sure that your umbrella is upside down.
Trade them for a package of sunshine and flowers.
If you want the things you love
You must have showers.
So when you hear it thunder
Don't run under a tree.
There'll be pennies from heaven for you and me.

http://www.kcmetro.cc.mo.us/~crosby/lyrics.html

Jacintha's version was a whole lot shorter, but it was full of swing and class. In fact, the first time I heard it was when Adrian sang it (he the rabid Frank Sinatra fan) at a colleague's birthday party.

This song certainly brought back a lot of warm memories... :)

Brawl Over Tissue

Well, almost.

Case 1: Hong Lim Hawker Centre

Was lining up behind this Ah Chek for bak chor noodles. Not too far next to me, was this table of 6 seats that were occupied by diners happily slurping, munching and sipping away.

When the 6 seater was vacated, a gaggle of 6 office girls spotted the suddenly-vacated table and was about to zoom in on it with their tissue packs. Of course, you know the protocol - if you see a tissue pack or an umbrella over some seats, they are taken. Choped. Occupied.

Simple logic, isn't it? As easy as ABC, 123.

It's just the territorial nature of homo sapiens, you see. Nothing wrong. Afterall, it's our culture.

Before the girls could even inch a little closer to the table to lay claims, the Ah Chek in front of me suddenly whipped out a pack of tissue from his breast pocket. With a swift flick of his wrist, the pack flew inches past my nose and landed neatly on one of the chairs.

He then turned back to order his mee pok tah nonchalently. The girls backed off, and one of them was seen muttering to her girlfriend on how kiasu the Ah Chek was.

A subsequent recounting of the story to my colleagues led to all of us busy practicing our skills in our cubicles...

Hey, you never know when such skills are in need.

Case 2: Golden Shoe

SA and I decided to meet for lunch and spotted this 4 seater that was seemingly unoccupied.

Having practicsed due dilligence whereby we checked if there were any personal belongings (re: tissue packs, umbrellas, magazines, newspapers, bags etc) on the chairs, SA promptly fished out her tissue pack and placed it neatly on the stool.

Immediately, a 30-ish looking Office Lady bearing a plate of char siew rice from the famous Tiong Bahru stall snarled at us, insinuating that the table was hers and the aforementioned tissue pack was hers, too.

While we politely pointed out that she was in error and that when we came to the table, there was no tissue pack in sight, she promptly changed tack and said that probably somebody removed her pack.

While still hanging on to my friend's tissue. Despite my pointed remark that it was ours.

This could have gone on forever. And I'm hungry. And somewhat annoyed by this pestilential woman. And I would have vacated to another spot if not for the fact that there're no seats and this woman was making a fuss.

I offered to share a table with her, while she still insisted that it was her table. Then, all of a sudden, something seem to struck her, she looked into her handbag, closed it and returned the pack to us.

A forced smile came to my lips and I said we could still share seats.

She promptly sat down with nary a whimper and began digging into her char siew rice.

SA grumbled and said that this woman was making it all up, and began to share her past experiences involving tissue louts who insisted that it was their seats at crowded food courts.

Oh yes, louts indeed.

Birthday Wishes, Cards & Letters

First card to arrive
SA's card - a menagerie of animals lining up to greet a teddy bear, filled with good wishes. We've yet to fix a dinner date, but I hope it's soon. Haven't seen her in a while.

Drinks at Cafe Ig
Hola! Strawberry magaritas and Mexican fare as the sun sinks with the zany bunch at work.

Surprise birthday party & Cake #1:
A sudden blackout at cell group, while I was chomping merrily on an egg roll half-way. The dining room was lighted up by the warm glow of 2 candles (it's Andrew's birthday too), stuck on a chocolatey fudge cake, followed by a very chirpy, animated birthday song. :)

And Krispy Creme doughnuts all the way from Sydney! Pineapple Coconut Doughnut! Yum!

A loud birthday cheer
From the SFG gang, courtesy of Enid.

Coffee and Cake #2
Esther, Kat and Oi Leng bought coffee and cake. Mmmmm....

Dinner & Cake #3
The retreat gang bought me a simple dinner, with a slice of tiramisu. To top it off, warm words in another card and a bouquet presented with a flourish. And Noi came by, just to celebrate with me.

And several SMSes and email greetings, both near and far, from friends and family alike.

Noi was saying that as one grows older, perhaps the number of well-wishers will decline over time due to shifting priorities. But she did agree, that as life goes on, we must continue to make new friends, and nurture old ties. That, she says, makes life more vibrant.

Indeed, I've much to be grateful for. Thank you for making my day, such a special one.

Sobering & Thought-Provoking

Visited two old-aged homes as part of team-building day. I've never been to one, and indeed hte experience was an eye-opener and gave me much food for thought.

The first home sits on neatly manicured lawns and had close to 200 residents. Thought it is near an expressway, I was very surprised that you could hardly hear the traffic buzz. It was tranquil.

Many of them are not ambulant and I guess those years caring for Dad helped me a lot in knowing what to say and how to make them more comfortable. Some of my friends were somewhat clueless on what to do. They simply hung back, unsure and hesitant.

While some reasons are valid (language barrier for example), others I think could be overcome slowly through exposure. It is the limited interaction that we have with very aged and frail old folks that caused many of us to wonder what we could do.

Apart from presenting some items (half-baked singing) and games for them, the rest of the time was spent serving them food. I wondered if we did them any good, by such an infrequent visit. It would be, I think, far better for us to adopt a home for a year and volunteer there regularly.

Off to another home. This time, a language barrier existed for me. I could only hold an old woman's hand, while she gripped it tightly and recounted (as interpreted by a friend), how her daughter had failed to come and see her increasingly - till the time came when she thought that she had been abandoned to live a lonely twilight for good.

For an old lady of 80, her grip was surprisingly (and excruiciatingly) firm. Speechless, I just let her hold my hand.

It was heart-breaking to say the least, to hear such stories. Even the Home manager acknowledged that many the residents were abandonment cases.

Many of us left with a disturbed frame of mind. Will we, ourselves, face a day where we grow old, frail, mind wandering off, unable to walk, bedridden or unable to even do the simplest things that we take for granted?

Is there more we could do for them?