Coiling

My stomach was coiling like a snake.

Like a snake squeezing the life out of its prey.
Tightening its coils around its intended victim.
Never felt that way before.

Good thing it all happened afterwards.

Thank you for your prayers, guys. :)

只看未来

有一些人，是否是笑里藏刀呢？

我不懂，我真的不懂。

他今天相我透露他一直最担心的情景，终于发生了。他怀疑别人也用有色眼光来看他。

我认为，一个带有偏见的人当然说的话带有一些刺。为何还说别人与他对你的观点一致，说话咄咄逼人？最糟的是，可能别人也联一阵线，不接听你电话。

可能这样，如果你责问，或向他讨个解释的时候，他不用向你坦白。这干净利落多了。

这，就是现在的状况吗？既然他不回电，你也别猜疑了。

既然如此，那又何必在乎别人对你的看法呢？在英国，我也领悟了这个道理。

做人要问心无愧。信心不是建立在别人的赞美或批评上。

请你放下你的包袱， 把痛苦的过去忘了，向美好的将来跨出第一步吧！

因为上帝对我们的承诺，是永恒真实的。

后言。。。

他的心情平息了下来。
误会解除了，有如雨过天晴。
原来，是有人捏造事实，口若悬河，含血喷人！还借刀杀人呢！
他好高兴，我也为你快乐！

这种笑里藏刀的人，最好别与他有任何瓜葛。
一个爱说谎的人，总有一天会自食其果，谎言会不攻自破。

希望你能醒悟。

回头是岸。

Space

How do you shake off clingy people?

There must surely be a skill... some kind of lost art to tell people off kindly but firmly to let you enjoy some solitude. Where you can have some personal space to do your own thing.

Some of these folks are harmless but clingy. There MUST be some way of letting people down gently.

I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Hmmmm... (*thinking hard*)

And The Answer to the Million Dollar Question Is...

I don't noe leh.

Really.

There was endless speculation on his status. Is he attached, unattached or recently detached?

Reportedly intelligent and as someone who knows how to pay attention to ladies, this friend of mine has been eyed by a few girls over the years as a good catch.

It was at the most incongruous of places that I had a hint of what exactly he has been up to recently. I haven't seen him for a while and since my quit, we've made plans to do lunch together but he's just too busy. Coupled with my going away for months, I quite forgot about our standing lunch date.

Until news broke that his father had passed away from a long illness. I went to the wake last night and gosh, he looked tired and withdrawn. We spoke quietly for a while before I paid my respects to his Dad.

One of the long-time friends tittered and actually said that she'd like to suggest a few female friends to his mum for his "selection". He declined and said, "Nope, not at a wake, please." And he said that his mum has given up hope on him.

It has been 2 years since I last saw him, and he has grown less flippant and somewhat withdrawn. From a few other things he said, it dawned on me what were the issues that he has been grappling with in his personal life.

The answer to the million dollar question will be revealed in due course...

Sorry, girls. ;)

And it's an apt response

And it's an apt response from P to tell that certain Miss that she'll still head for the dinner she's fixing.

I can only conclude that the certain Miss is a little mad. Overly consumed by extremism, I'd say.

Zealots are hardly endearing, especially those who spew nonsense by the yard, trampling innocents in the process. Perhaps there's a place for such beliefs and I'm too critical. I now perfectly understand what PB meant when she said that this Miss likes to claim credit by pushing others to do her bidding, all in a saintly guise.

Oh dear.

Intolerance

Heard from P that a certain miss has called her early in the morning and asked her not to attend an event that she will be organising.

I have never seen such intolerance towards a fellow human being. I was told that this miss (who certainly doesn't behave like one) is someone to keep a distance from. Her bad rep unfortunately precedes her, despite the apparent cordiality that she shows towards one and all, and the seemingly spiritual facade that she creates.

As truth be told, it is a facade. I just saw an ugly intolerant side of her that nullified all that she preached and believed in. The best part of the whole farce was that she even threw quotes at P about what P did - deemed as "objectionable", "lack of faith", etc etc.

To me, it just showed that this certain Miss doesn't tolerate differences in practices, views and takes things in a sensitive manner.

This is the first time in my life that I heard that trying to seek shelter from the rain is a direct rebellion against faith and God. Perhaps tantamount to breaking all commandments at one shot?

I tell you, if it's really true, the Lord would have sent a lightning bolt and burnt the supposed transgressor(s) to a crisp. On the spot. Then there would be no need for the certain Miss to take God's part to rant at someone who was just doing the logical thing at that point of time. And to think that she made a decision to bar P from attending future activities - perhaps seeing P as a challenge to her authority?!

I don't think there's a need to blow up such trivial matters. For those who know better, what the certain Miss is doing is ridiculous.

And bravo to P for keeping her cool and rising above it.

***

Afternote:
Latest update was that P had to skip the event due to family commitments on same day. Met up with her and analysed the whole situation. Apparently the certain Miss had brushes with P over the years. So, all these problems were tinged with personal grudges as well.

The only way that to deal with folks like the certain Miss, who believed that they are God's spokespersons on earth (wah! even more powerful than the Pope...), would be to cut the moral high ground from them.

Their arguments would then have no leg to stand upon.

And that's real easy to do, because the certain Miss has none in the first place.

Then, you could deal with her, on a woman to woman basis. In which case, it is also easy to handle, because so long as she remains bigoted in her views, others will see her for what she is.

All that glitters is not gold. A scratch will reveal that it's just scrap metal underneath.

No More "We"

A visit to the old workplace yielded some telling signs that old habits die hard.

I must stop using the pronoun "we", "our" and "us".

"It is our practice to do this."
"We often have research done on these recipes."

Those 4 years of my life were the hardest. But I came out all the more stronger and even surer of myself as to what I am and what I believe and stand for. And what I can do. And how willing I am to cut ties with what will not benefit me in the long run.

Not one to live in regrets, the experience taught me that I have to venture and trust, even though it might not be altogether clear what's in it for me.

It's time to step forward then.

Kiam Kanna

Just last night a few of us girls were talking about some of the friends we know, and how a particular guy has unfortunately gained the dubious reputation for being a kiam kanna.

There's a fine line between being thrifty ("which is a virtue", PB noted) to plain stinginess ("which is a bane in any man!", P sniffed). Frankly whenever this person's name is mentioned, my memory harked back to what happened that day which really shocked me. Imagine, being asked to pay even the carpark fees when we helped to foot the bill of the outing in other ways!

For non-Hokkien speaking me, I was quite tickled and intrigued by the phrase kiam kanna. I could imagine how the phrase came about when you think of a miser sitting on a wooden stool, eating bowls and bowls of porridge, only flavored by a very cheap and humble dish - a pickled olive. You can imagine how a single olive could stretch a meal - the saltiness of the kanna would enable you to wolf down bowls of porridge (*visions of teochew muay danced in my mind as I type this*...).

Although my teochew muay vision would contain more delicacies such as chye poh egg, fish, kiam chye, kanna chye and tau pok... hardly a frugal feast!

Yes, that's just how the kiam kanna phrase would come about... hee.

On a related vein, I wonder how I would react if my other half is a kiam kanna. While I'm no spendthrift, I'd probably not react very kindly to a tight-fisted man. P has categorically rejected any person who's like that as a spouse. Another gal pal has objected to chatterboxes ("they give me headaches!"), while another prefered the manly sort (not sure what she meant - I suppose mature men?)