The New Beginning Has Begun
I tendered today from my job of 4 years and 11 months.
It was too long a time. GM's announcement of transfering me laterally to membership department to clean up the mess there, is but just an affirmation of what God has placed in my heart since Dad passed away. To leave and seek greener pastures...
Really, it's just many steps leading and affirming a decision that I know the Lord has wanted me to make.
On Christmas Eve, Jenny my boss gave me the 40 Days of Purpose book. Although I have the book as part of the church programme, re-reading my gift reminded me that I need to always at all times, maintain and develop the 5 purposes in my life. My job currently is draining my life and my heart and love for living life to the fullest. I feel so upset that sometimes I will refuse to eat, other times, felt very frustrated and unhappy. So unhappy that I thought why can't some people just live and let live, and other less charitable thoughts.
However, over Christmas I was reading Joshua Chapter 1. It was an account of how Joshua, after Moses and the rest of his gang had died in the wilderness, was commanded by God to go forth into the land of promise. The interesting thing is that Joshua was told to "get ready, lead his people, and go into what is already promised to the Israelites" by God. The Lord affirmed it many times in these accounts that He Himself will always be with the Israelites, just only be obedient and be strong and courageous.
I thought, "What a powerful God!And how awesome!". During the first weekend service at church, Joshua 1:9 was the Lord's clarion call to Riverlifers. After a good deal of weeping during the church communion (can't remember why though), I went away feeling very peaceful.
Abigail emailed me from NAC and we fell to talking about jobs. She has just moved over from NUS and was enjoying her work. I told her how unhappy I was and asked her for available positions. Surprisingly, she encouraged me to be bold and courageous and I need to discern if right now, I'm in a season whereby the Promised Land is already in front of me, it's just that I've yet to set my foot on it and go forward and claim it.
I found it remarkable that so many people seem to be reading and telling me about Joshua. Certainly not a mere coincidence. That very night I was reading it and realised that disobedience by Moses and gang led to a heavy price to be paid - they did not get to even enter into His promise. I was in fact wondering when quite is the right time to tender, until the next day GM broke the news to me.
What do I go from here then?
In all my time searching for a job (while holding on to this one), I was never successful. I was telling Ellen and Jo and wondered if I need to trust God by going without one first, and for Him to provide.
It seems like now this is the case. GM's announcement and refusal to increase my pay, title and yet wanting me to do more goes only to show that my interests are not safeguarded anymore. If I'm expendable, I'm not sure what is going to happen in the future. More work? More portfolios at same pay?
But to be honest, there's this wonderful realisation that I had, that indeed, God has given me a signal (very very clear this time) to go and to trust Him for providence.
Lord, I commit my unknown future into Your hands, whom I know and declare Your faithfulness and love towards me. Like the Hokkien song - indeed, hold my hand.
It was too long a time. GM's announcement of transfering me laterally to membership department to clean up the mess there, is but just an affirmation of what God has placed in my heart since Dad passed away. To leave and seek greener pastures...
Really, it's just many steps leading and affirming a decision that I know the Lord has wanted me to make.
On Christmas Eve, Jenny my boss gave me the 40 Days of Purpose book. Although I have the book as part of the church programme, re-reading my gift reminded me that I need to always at all times, maintain and develop the 5 purposes in my life. My job currently is draining my life and my heart and love for living life to the fullest. I feel so upset that sometimes I will refuse to eat, other times, felt very frustrated and unhappy. So unhappy that I thought why can't some people just live and let live, and other less charitable thoughts.
However, over Christmas I was reading Joshua Chapter 1. It was an account of how Joshua, after Moses and the rest of his gang had died in the wilderness, was commanded by God to go forth into the land of promise. The interesting thing is that Joshua was told to "get ready, lead his people, and go into what is already promised to the Israelites" by God. The Lord affirmed it many times in these accounts that He Himself will always be with the Israelites, just only be obedient and be strong and courageous.
I thought, "What a powerful God!And how awesome!". During the first weekend service at church, Joshua 1:9 was the Lord's clarion call to Riverlifers. After a good deal of weeping during the church communion (can't remember why though), I went away feeling very peaceful.
Abigail emailed me from NAC and we fell to talking about jobs. She has just moved over from NUS and was enjoying her work. I told her how unhappy I was and asked her for available positions. Surprisingly, she encouraged me to be bold and courageous and I need to discern if right now, I'm in a season whereby the Promised Land is already in front of me, it's just that I've yet to set my foot on it and go forward and claim it.
I found it remarkable that so many people seem to be reading and telling me about Joshua. Certainly not a mere coincidence. That very night I was reading it and realised that disobedience by Moses and gang led to a heavy price to be paid - they did not get to even enter into His promise. I was in fact wondering when quite is the right time to tender, until the next day GM broke the news to me.
What do I go from here then?
In all my time searching for a job (while holding on to this one), I was never successful. I was telling Ellen and Jo and wondered if I need to trust God by going without one first, and for Him to provide.
It seems like now this is the case. GM's announcement and refusal to increase my pay, title and yet wanting me to do more goes only to show that my interests are not safeguarded anymore. If I'm expendable, I'm not sure what is going to happen in the future. More work? More portfolios at same pay?
But to be honest, there's this wonderful realisation that I had, that indeed, God has given me a signal (very very clear this time) to go and to trust Him for providence.
Lord, I commit my unknown future into Your hands, whom I know and declare Your faithfulness and love towards me. Like the Hokkien song - indeed, hold my hand.
posted by Leng @ 7:16 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home