A Grief Observed
It was her anguished sobs that shook me to the core.
It's been at least a week since the premature delivery happened to Phne. Ellen and I intuitively knew that things were amiss when she failed to respond promptly to our message that we'd be late for our lunch appointment that day.
When the premature birth happened, I was told that she was all alone at home. At 23 weeks, Mattheus was too weak to survive outside his mum's womb.
What really hit me and caused so many of us to break into sobs was her anguished crying. She refused to open her eyes and all she did was to lie in bed and sob as the nurses tended to her. She wouldn't wipe her tears and as we prayed, many of us were seen wiping away our tears too. She looked so pale and small in the bed.
Mart looked very tired and pale. Undoubtedly so, as he had to handle the mundane affairs of death, while still grieving and caring for a distraught wife. Obtaining a death cert, arranging for the cremation service etc. The event took a surreal turn (as Ellen pointed out) when the nurse came along and asked what would Phne like for lunch the next day.
And time marches on, despite grief, sorrow and mourning.
Ellen blogged about the sadness of it all. The unbelievable termination of what we thought would be a full-term and uneventful pregnancy. I could still remember Phne craving for a midnight prata and teh tarik after cell group (it was after 11 pm) and all of us gamely trooped to the stall to makan with her. It was the first time in ages that we saw her having a good appetite. And her tummy is growing - certainly a sign that all things are well.
And now this.
Many of us were still reeling from the shock and fumbling for answers. What really made me realise how firm the Tans' faith was, was when Mart wrote an email saying that while there were no answers right now, he and Phne would have faith to ask God when they see Him face to face. And to welcome their son whom they barely knew.
Nobody likes tragedies, not when it's so seemingly senseless. While we humans fail to see why, this is the time when faith comes into the picture. It is so hard to see a bad thing like this happen to good folks like them.
Ellen wondered at the surrealness of the whole incident. While they are grieving, life goes on. I do think that the good thing about life is that while there is a time for sadness and mourning, there is also a season for joy and happiness. It is a good thing, for if life doesn't go on, they would still be stuck in their grief, and recovery will be a distant possibility.
I pray that He will fill their hearts with His peace that the world can't understand, His love, His strength, His comfort.
Mourning about one's loss is a very odd process. At times you are better, at times you sink into the deepest valleys of depression. However, one day, the pain will lessen, as hope, faith and peace take over.
I pray that as they head off to Australia to recuperate and pray, they'll come home refreshed and strengthened when it's time to come home. We'll miss them, but time and space are what they need right now.
It's been at least a week since the premature delivery happened to Phne. Ellen and I intuitively knew that things were amiss when she failed to respond promptly to our message that we'd be late for our lunch appointment that day.
When the premature birth happened, I was told that she was all alone at home. At 23 weeks, Mattheus was too weak to survive outside his mum's womb.
What really hit me and caused so many of us to break into sobs was her anguished crying. She refused to open her eyes and all she did was to lie in bed and sob as the nurses tended to her. She wouldn't wipe her tears and as we prayed, many of us were seen wiping away our tears too. She looked so pale and small in the bed.
Mart looked very tired and pale. Undoubtedly so, as he had to handle the mundane affairs of death, while still grieving and caring for a distraught wife. Obtaining a death cert, arranging for the cremation service etc. The event took a surreal turn (as Ellen pointed out) when the nurse came along and asked what would Phne like for lunch the next day.
And time marches on, despite grief, sorrow and mourning.
Ellen blogged about the sadness of it all. The unbelievable termination of what we thought would be a full-term and uneventful pregnancy. I could still remember Phne craving for a midnight prata and teh tarik after cell group (it was after 11 pm) and all of us gamely trooped to the stall to makan with her. It was the first time in ages that we saw her having a good appetite. And her tummy is growing - certainly a sign that all things are well.
And now this.
Many of us were still reeling from the shock and fumbling for answers. What really made me realise how firm the Tans' faith was, was when Mart wrote an email saying that while there were no answers right now, he and Phne would have faith to ask God when they see Him face to face. And to welcome their son whom they barely knew.
Nobody likes tragedies, not when it's so seemingly senseless. While we humans fail to see why, this is the time when faith comes into the picture. It is so hard to see a bad thing like this happen to good folks like them.
Ellen wondered at the surrealness of the whole incident. While they are grieving, life goes on. I do think that the good thing about life is that while there is a time for sadness and mourning, there is also a season for joy and happiness. It is a good thing, for if life doesn't go on, they would still be stuck in their grief, and recovery will be a distant possibility.
I pray that He will fill their hearts with His peace that the world can't understand, His love, His strength, His comfort.
Mourning about one's loss is a very odd process. At times you are better, at times you sink into the deepest valleys of depression. However, one day, the pain will lessen, as hope, faith and peace take over.
I pray that as they head off to Australia to recuperate and pray, they'll come home refreshed and strengthened when it's time to come home. We'll miss them, but time and space are what they need right now.
posted by Leng @ 9:45 AM
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